One day at a time: Tania and Valeria’s journey with CST

When Tania Garcia’s daughter Valeria, age 6, was diagnosed with level 2 autism at just 2 years old, Tania found herself facing not only the challenges of parenting an autistic child but also the discovery that she too was on the spectrum. Now, with the help of the virtual Caregiver Skills Training (eCST) program, an 8-hour training course developed with support from Autism Speaks, Tania is helping her daughter learn and grow while overcoming her own uncertainty as a parent.

CST helps an autistic mom raising a nonverbal child

In this Q&A, Tania shares her experiences as an autistic mom raising a nonverbal child and how CST has given her practical tools to support Valeria’s growth. 

Tell me a bit about your autism journey. How did you and Valeria receive your diagnoses? 

Valeria was diagnosed with autism after we noticed regression in her language. We started early intervention services, but her doctors felt she wasn’t progressing as quickly as they wanted, so they suggested an autism evaluation. 

That’s when I realized I shared many of the same traits that Valeria has. Valeria doesn’t like to talk to people—I don’t like to talk to people. She’s a picky eater—I was a picky eater for my entire life. She doesn’t like her hair being brushed—just like me. I saw myself in her. She has the same behaviors I did growing up. 

After sharing these details with my psychologist, he suspected that I was on the spectrum too. Both me and my daughter ended up getting a diagnosis. Suddenly, everything made sense—why I feel uncomfortable in social situations, why I don’t have friends, why loud noises bother me. All these things were finally addressed as something besides me being weird or an outsider.  

Since then, I have been learning and researching as much as I can. I am finishing up nursing school right now, and I’m going to specialize in psychiatry because I want to continue learning about autism and helping people understand themselves better. 

Can you tell me more about Valeria and her current progress? 

Valeria is 6 now and mostly nonverbal, but she’s so beautiful, smart, funny and joyful. She uses an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC device), which has given her a new way to express herself, and her language skills have been improving a lot. She was in applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy for three years and just started going to a special education school with a Montessori curriculum. I was worried about the transition, but she’s been thriving. I’ve learned to never underestimate her. 

She also has speech, occupational, physical, equine and music therapy. She does swimming for the summer. I keep her busy and my husband and I are very involved. Everything that they do at school, we keep track of and reinforce at home. One of our big achievements this year was potty training, which we just finished. 

How has CST helped you in supporting Valeria’s development? 

In the beginning, I felt completely lost—I didn’t even know what autism was. But when I got my diagnosis, I knew I could use myself as a reference for how I raise Valeria. The CST program helped me understand that many of the things I was doing intuitively were correct, but it also gave me a more structured approach to supporting her. 

I learned that I don’t have to set up a whole classroom here at home to teach her—we can reinforce the things she’s learning in school through play and in our everyday life. If we’re cooking fish, I’ll point to the food and say, “This is fish. Fish starts with the letter F. What else starts with the letter F?” If she is playing on the trampoline, I’ll say, “The trampoline is a circle. Do you remember how to draw a circle?” Then we’ll get a piece of paper and draw a circle. And everything that I do, I translate to Spanish because she is bilingual.  

There are moments when she might not want to engage with me, and that’s fine. CST taught me not to push her when she says no. Maybe she’s not ready, maybe she’s overwhelmed or drained from school. I used to get frustrated when she didn’t want to finish an activity, but now I understand it’s okay to give her space and let her have a childhood. She needs to move at her own pace, and we can always try another day.  

What challenges have you faced raising Valeria, and how has CST helped with those? 

The hardest part of raising a nonverbal child is not knowing how she’s feeling, especially when she’s sick. Valeria can’t tell me if she has a sore throat or if something hurts. Sometimes she’ll still be running around and playing, but I have to figure out if something is wrong based on small signs. I suspect she might have a high tolerance for pain, because I do, but that makes it even harder to catch things early. These are the moments that scare me. 

CST has taught me the importance of observing her closely, not just when she’s sick, but all the time. It’s the only way to catch patterns of behavior and understand her triggers. I’ve learned to pick up on small cues, like how crossing her legs means she needs to use the bathroom. 

It gets hard sometimes. Sometimes I don’t understand what she wants. There are times when I get overwhelmed and frustrated, and I need a break to decompress and self-regulate. It’s hard, but I take it one day at a time and try again the next day. 

What’s been the most impactful change you’ve noticed since starting CST? 

Over the past few weeks, Valeria has become more engaged in our family dynamic. She’s more alert and she’s even started talking more. While she still uses her AAC device, sometimes she’ll put it aside and try to say the words herself. For example, she learned how to say “chocolate” on her own, without using the device, which was a big step for her. 

I’ve also noticed a difference in myself. CST has helped me feel more confident as a parent because I know I’m on the right track. It’s also taught me the importance of balance—there’s a time to push Valeria to learn, and there’s a time to let her just be a kid. I’ve learned that I cannot control everything. It helped me develop some flexibility—we work on her pace, not mine. That has really freed me a lot from that pressure of having to be perfect. 

Would you recommend CST to other families? 

Absolutely—it’s gold. CST doesn’t put your child in a box—it shows you that there are many ways to help your child succeed. It’s empowering for parents too, because it gives you the tools to handle tough behaviors and difficult situations. Sometimes, as parents we are embarrassed to admit that we don’t know something, so CST makes us feel more comfortable and prepared. 

CST also emphasizes that as caregivers, we matter, and we need to take care of ourselves. It’s exhausting to be the caregiver of a child with special needs, but CST teaches you that it’s ok to find a balance between you and your child’s needs. You don’t have to be perfect—you just need to find a middle ground where they can stay calm, enjoy themselves and have the childhood they deserve.