Teaching Your Child Self-Advocacy

Teaching your child self-advocacy is as important as advocating on their behalf.

It is never too early to start learning these skills.

As your family member with autism ages, they will need to learn how to assess problems, speak up and ask for what they need, know their rights and how to negotiate.

Part of this may involve learning if or when to disclose their diagnosis. So start by talking to them about autism. The more comfortable and open you are with their diagnosis, the more comfortable your child will be. Don’t downplay the challenges, but also focus on their strengths, and assure your child that the entire family is supportive.

The skills you use to advocate for your child now are the same ones you need to teach your child. They will need to communicate their needs and desires – from simple things such as telling others what they want to eat or that they are in pain, to handling a range of real life situations that will require more sophisticated skills, such as how to ask a noisy roommate or neighbor to be quieter.

Role playing different scenarios is a great way to learn. Ask your child, “What could you do if your friend’s radio is too loud?” Identify options and desired outcomes together. Help them formulate such appropriate responses as, “I’m sensitive to loud noise and your music is hurting my ears, could you please turn down the radio?” Practicing these skills will help build their confidence to one day advocate for their own needs.

You may also find it helpful to reach out to adults with autism to learn about self-advocacy. Read their blogs, books and social media accounts. Suggest your child read them with you. See if they can recognize themself or similar life experiences. If your child is cognitively able, this will help them know how to talk about their autism and process their every day life. 

Learning self-advocacy is a lifelong process, just as learning to advocate as a parent is. Trust that as you find your voice, you will be able to help your child find theirs. Have grace and patience.

Read more in the Autism Speaks Advocacy Tool Kit.