Meet Ira T. and Lisa

November marks National Family Caregivers Month, shining a light on the commitment of families within the autism community. From navigating healthcare and education systems, to finding specialized support, these parents, grandparents, siblings and extended family members are making a difference every day. In this month’s Spectrum Spotlight, meet Lisa, a mom who took her son’s autism diagnosis as a call to action, dedicating herself to ensuring he would not be defined by it.

“I wish that people understood that while my son may be delayed in his development, he is still an adult and should be treated with the same level of respect, accountability and love as any typically developing adult,” she said. “Autism is a diagnosis, not an excuse.”

Her son, Ira, has embraced his diagnosis as a way to grow and advocate for others on the spectrum, becoming a voice of encouragement for his community. He’ll also be the first to tell you that he’s thankful to have his mom by his side every step along the way and does his best to show her just how much he appreciates everything she does.

“My mom always helps me with anything I need. She takes me to the Kinney Center every day. She picks me up and takes me to the store, folds my clothes and buys me what I need, especially at Target,” he said. “I always help my mom with stuff in the house and carry the groceries because they are heavy. My mom needs help sometimes and I like to help her because she takes care of me. I always give her a kiss when she’s sad and a big hug because I love her.”

Get more insights into their journey in this Q&A with Lisa:

What were your first thoughts when Ira was diagnosed?

Ira was diagnosed at 3 years old. My sweet, talkative inquisitive little boy suddenly became shy and withdrawn, losing most of his language and social skills. We quickly enrolled him in applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy and specialized preschools, which helped with strengthening his skills.

What kind of support or services have been the most helpful for Ira as he transitioned into adulthood?

While all of Ira’s support services have been extremely helpful, I feel that The Kinney Center for Autism Studies Adult Day Program has been the most integral in providing both educational and social supports during his transition to adulthood. Kinney provides socialization through activities such as parties and outings while preparing my son to participate in the community as a working adult. They also provide job support as well as the chance to work in a university setting.

What have been some of the proudest moments you’ve experienced watching Ira grow and achieve his milestones?

Ira has grown into a handsome and popular young man whose accomplishments have surpassed anything I could have ever dreamed for him. He went to his prom with his childhood best friend and participated in high school social functions. At the Kinney Center, he has blossomed and experienced so many awesome firsts. He was privileged to be on the field when the Philadelphia Eagles brought home the Lombardi Trophy after their Super Bowl victory, he was featured on Channel 6ABC in a segment about the dog walking business he worked for, and most recently, on the NBC10 Philadelphia Eagles Autism Foundation Vaccination clinic He is now 26 years old and works at Saxby's Coffee on St. Joe's campus as a server.

How do you balance your son’s need for support with encouraging his independence?

It’s a delicate balance between being a dedicated caregiver but not turning into a helicopter parent! I have to sometimes let him make his own decisions and mistakes – from forgetting his umbrella on a rainy day to overspending his monthly budget – I try to make everything a learning experience.

How do you take care of yourself while being a caregiver?

I always make sure to take time for myself – whether its reading, enjoying a movie or tv show or my personal favorite, travelling. Also, I am a woman of faith, so I always make sure to spend time pursuing my spiritual journey. These things feed my soul and help keep me grounded and energized while being a caregiver.

Are there strategies or routines that help manage stress or avoid burnout?

One of my personal strategies is to keep a monthly calendar of my son’s activities, work schedule, appointments, etc. so that I am always prepared for his needs and there are no major surprises. Also, I have a great deal of support from my husband and other family members – someone is always willing to jump in and help when I become overwhelmed.

100 Day Kit for Newly Diagnosed Families

Changing the course of the life of your child with autism can be a very rewarding experience. You are making an enormous difference in his or her life. To make it happen, Autism Speaks is here to help provide the tools and information you need with The 100 Day Kit for Newly Diagnosed Families. Take a moment to ask yourself: Where does my support and strength come from? How am I really doing? Do I need to cry? Complain? Scream? Would I like some help but don’t know who to ask? Autism Speaks can help.